Sometimes I read some news stories and I'm literally lost for words, here are a few of such news stories;
The birthday that never was
Yar'Adua's Birthday Confusion - State Govts Blew Over N35m
"Over N35 million taxpayers' money was spent by state governors, ministers and lawmakers sponsoring advert messages congratulating President Umaru Musa Yar'adua on his 57th birthday in national dailies, only to discover that the president was not born on July 9, as the over 100 coloured paged messages implied."
The Lord Works in Mysterious ways : - )'Allah meat' astounds Nigerians
"Diners have been flocking to a restaurant in northern Nigeria to see pieces of meat which the owner says are inscribed with the name of Allah."
and in other parts of the world
Message from Allah 'in tomato'
Tropical fish 'has Allah marking'
India marvels at 'miracle chapati'
methinks this one is definitely worthy of an end of year award (for "Foot in mouth")
Obasanjo - Leave Electricity Problem to God
Former President Olusegun Obasanjo has said Nigerians should take their electricity problem to God, adding that they should take to God anything they do not have which they wished to have or cannot get.
419 Version 2.0
419ers crank up the menaces
"Your friend has paid us to kill you..."
-------------------------------------------------
So what have you been doing in America?
Now you can find out what some of our citizens have been up to stateside.
http://www.criminalsearches.com/default.aspx
A search using a variation of popular Nigerian names produces very interesting results, i don't think Iyabo Obasanjo will be doing much driving next time she visits the US : - )
Labels: comical news stories, News reports, Recommended articles
First it was Jesse Jackson threatening to cut off Obama's nuts courtesy of a 'mic malfunction' at Fox news (What was Jesse doing on Fox news in the first place??, it’s kind of like George W Bush going on BET), and now The New Yorker (a supposedly liberal rag) is depicting Obama and his wife as "terrorists" in the White House.
According to the magazine's editor, David Remnick, the image "holds up a mirror" to the absurd and often malicious rumours that have stuck to his [Obama's] campaign. And he believes his readers are intelligent enough to get the joke.
Really, i don't see any other magazine portraying McCain as an Old geriatric fool, because i suppose it would be seen as extremely offensive to OAPs, but i guess we black people just can't take a joke abi??
--------------------
Meanwhile...
Our dear old presido, Yawn’Adua hits our shores this week.
Now this is an open appeal to the 'slow' one, just in case you meet 'Iya Charlie' abeg do not embarrass us like you did when you met Bush last year.
Oh and one more thing since Gordon Brown will be discussing the high price of oil and offering British assistance in dealing with the Niger delta issue, I suggest you too offer Naija's assistance in dealing with the recent spate of stabbings in the UK's major cities. You could offer to send our 'Kill n Go' (Our psychotic men in black) to teach the bobbies here how to deal with all these small pikins carrying knives around as if they are selling suya.
--------------------
Another sad Oil song...
They haven't extracted the oil yet but the twin islands of São Tomé and Príncipe are already in big trouble. (And of course Naijas are already there to give them a helping hand)
'The best thing that could happen to the country is if no oil is found'
Bribery, bullying and bad deals shatter Sao Tome's dreams of petroleum boom
http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2008/jul/14/oil.internationalaidanddevelopment
Labels: obama, Random Musings, Recommended articles, Yar'Adua
Arrested Economic Development
Paper presented by 'Wale Otukoya at the Yoruba Foundation on 7th June 2008.
Good Morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. It's an absolute pleasure to see you all. I am so excited about the opportunity to talk about the development of our country, but I have only a very limited time, so, I will get straight in.
At the dawn of Independence, our country was like a young virgin bride, full of promises and possibilities, our forefathers were overjoyed by the opportunities, but on the wedding night, it was the best man that consummated the marriage. That false start had plagued our country till today.
There are longer any doubts that the 1959 election was rigged, many people at the time suspected this to be the case, but now the Radio 4 programme that you listened to earlier confirmed that suspicion.
So that begs the question, why will anyone want to rig an election, especially our colonial masters on their way out?. When the slave trade came to an end, these guys still needed labour, they devised something even better, colonisation, rather than transport people to a foreign land, why not make them do the work in their own backyard and then send the goods back to the home country.
Ingenious!. There are policy makers constantly at work, making sure that they deal with issues before they become problems.
There were many reasons why the Nigerian Independence election was rigged, but this has brought us a lot of headache. If our colonial masters can so blatantly ignore the wishes of the people of Nigeria, the subsequent governments do not have a reason to have a plan, or setup an agenda, no accountability, nor do they need to perform in order for them to get back into power.
I understand that the Western region was ahead of its time, free education, free healthcare etc. The UK government wanted people they could continue to influence, educating the majority of the country will only lead to more problems.
The 1979 Nigerian election was fought on the same basis, but Awolowo was criticised for that. The UK Labour government since 1997 made Education and health two important policies of their government. Can you see the parallel, nearly 20 years later?. If we followed those policies in 1979, we would be unbeatable right now.
Now, lets give credit where credit is due, two centuries ago the Brits had about 30 million people, yet they managed to colonise almost a quarter of the world. This small island became a world leader because of the dedication of a few people.
Why did we expect them to help us to develop when development will mean less dependence on UK products?.
Imagine, through some fluke, somebody asked the Chelsea Manager to select the Man United team to face Chelsea at the finals of the European cup. I bet Ronaldo, Ferdinald, Van der Saer, or any of the key players will not be in that team, because even though on a good day Chelsea might be able to match Man U, the manager will play safe and go for the second team.
That was the same thing that happened at our "independence", why pick a team likely to give you a good run for your money, when you can pick one that you can surely win against. So, the Brits picked the second team and put the first team in reserve, another ingenious idea.
We have never had our best players in the right places.
On several occasions, I have heard that we were better under colonial rule than the 47 years of independence!!!. What we have failed to do since independence is to turn around the tide.
Several believed that the sleeping giant of Africa was about to take off in the 1970's and 80's, but in reality, it was a case of the jumbo jet crash landing whilst till taxing on the runway. We never made it as far as we thought we would. It just never happened. Now we are dreaming of 2020, but without a 20/20 vision.
Gradually, many of the colonised countries are now developing, do you remember the Vespa based cars that looked like tricycles with engines?. Those cars were the butts of many jokes when we were growing up, but India has now developed new cars on the back of that and recently launched the cheapest car for about $2000.
The Indian company Tata, manufactures cars, it's a massive conglomerate, they now own British Steel. Does anyone know what happened to Ajaokuta steel after we have spent $6b?.
Malaysia was a British colony, but its now classified as a Newly Industrialised country (NIC), they hope to become a fully developed country by 2020.
Does anyone know what happened to Volkswagen Nigeria?. Malaysia now produces Proton cars, apart from the engine. Malaysia also have one of the best medical facilities in the world, many now travel there as medical tourists. That could have been us. Where are all our trained doctors?. They are now dotted across the world. In 2007, Malaysia exported $4.4b worth of palm oil that they originally took from Nigeria. I wonder what we have done with ours?. Palm oil is now a major product, every part of it is used, even the shell.
Let me share some info from the US department of Statistics. Immigrants from Nigeria to the US are likely to be better educated (graduates and post graduates) than the indigenous population, but are more likely to be employed in a manual work.
Now, we need to move on though, time is ticking, the taxi is waiting and we have lost considerable amount of time, 47 years to be exact. In the life of a human being we are now middle aged, tending towards being regarded as a "condemn".
We have the skills, we have resources, we just lack leadership.
The economics of the world is changing. Having capital alone is not enough, you need skills, you need to be unique, you need to be able to distinguish yourself from the crowd.
Development cannot happen in a vacuum, it must be in the context of our social economic base. If our governments don't want to drive this, then, we as individuals must be able to provide leadership. We need to start somewhere, at the moment, we are running away from our own destiny.
We had oil, we blew the money because we were selfish enough not to care whether our neighbours had a meal or not, as long as we drove better cars and had more houses. Most of the jobs created in the UK and the US are created by the private sector.
Traditional economic theorists believe that in order to develop, we need capital, land, machinery, labour etc.
I have news for you, we don't need those things any more. What we need is the right infrastructure and the skills of the people to drive those things forward. We have heard of jobs being off shored to low wage countries. If we have the infrastructure, our people will have jobs.
Lets look at some of the best new companies in the world, Microsoft, Apple, Google, e-bay, facebook, moneysupermarket.com. These companies are now worth billions of dollars. 20 years ago, some of these companies were not even in existence, but today, they are more profitable than GM, Ford and most of the more traditional companies. Dell computers started in a garage, e-bay, because a man's wife could not find what she was looking for etc.
What that tells us is that we do not need to have huge capital, what we need is our brains, highly developed, highly skilled and highly tuned, not to scam people, but to build a future for ourselves and our country. We can definitely help to build our nation. We are helping to build other nations at the moment.
What can we do?.
We can make things better. We can elect not to agree that it is alright to have substandard products, we can agree that there are rules about governance, we can make sure that we support the right people and train our kids not to believe that all they have to do to make it in life is to blindly study. We need entrepreneurs, we need people with ambitions and we need long term goals. No more get rich quick schemes. We must pursue excellence above everything else.
Things can be turned around very quickly and Nigerians are some of the most industrious people, they follow their leaders and if you give them good leadership, the whole country will start buzzing in no time. A formidable force of 130 million people, more than twice the size of the UK population.
The opportunities are endless, we can come together to form partnerships, we can develop ideas, we have the power, we can help to shape the nature of the policies at home, we can channel our energies in providing support for our people.
Let us celebrate people who have the audacity to dream, let us support those trying to make a difference. This is not the time for the green eyed monster. This is the time to come together to become an incredible force. Our thinking must change from being consumers to being producers, from just opening little shops to thinking out of the box.
Consider the impact of IT, consider what will make our lives easier or more convenient, whilst making the best of the resources we have at your disposal. Don't follow the crowd, but follow your dream. Dream big, plan for it and work hard to get it.
Don't be afraid of failure, but just imagine the freedom. Its like learning to drive a car, the freedom to go anywhere is unbelievable.
Lets celebrate the very best, but celebrating all the time without achieving anything is not a way forward. Have less of those "Owambe" parties, save money and invest. Can you imagine if Bill Gate originated from Nigeria, who can guess how many wives and children he would have by now?. Why?
I have been troubled by the fact that the Polish people are now going home. I can't believe this, these guys have been here for 5 minutes and they are already checking out. What is going on?. Also, an average of 200,000 people leave the UK every year for other countries, hang on a minute, the Pols and the Brits are leaving the country, things must be really tough, who is going to manage the economy. Hey guys, I am checking out as well.
May I end by thanking all the speakers and the audience today, especially Dele Ogun, and the rest of the team that have organised these events year after year. I am thrilled about events like this, because it shows that some of you still love our country.
Labels: economic development, politics, Recommended articles, Recommended reading
Poor Obj, since leaving power, its been one scandal or the other. Even Nollywood couldn't make up the current one doing the rounds. It takes a lot to shock me, but i'm stunned at the 'allegations' made by Obj's son - Gbenga ObasanjoEither Gbenga Obasanjo has completely lost the plot or there is some crazy shit happening in that family..Meanwhile who knew we had 'armchair psychologists' in naija, check out their anaylsis of the whole affairRecommended reading42 years ago (January 15 1966), Nigeria's first attempt at democracy ended with the violent overthrow of the government of Sir Tafawa Balewa. Six months later, there was another coup carried out by mainly Northern soldiers. These two events eventually led to the Nigerian civil warcheck out Nowa Omoigui's excellent article on the events of 1966 Northern Nigerian Military Counter-Rebellion July, 1966 I'm outta here...Out of the UK that is, till the end of the monthwe're off to sunny Lanzarote.. Labels: Obasanjo, Recommended articles, Recommended reading
Recommended reading; Online and Offline
From the man who ''almost killed'' Patrice LumumbaI've just finished reading 'Chief of station, Congo' by ex CIA agent, Larry Delvin. Delvin was the head of the CIA station in the Congo in the sixties. His book recounts the events at the time of Congo's independence from Belgium, the death of Patrice Lumumba (Congo's first prime minister) and the emergence of Mobutu (who ruled the country for over 30 years).Delvin attempts to justify America's 'intervention' in the Congo by claiming Lumumba was under the influence of the soviet union and claims America had to use all 'means at its disposal to block all attempts by the USSR to infiltrate, subvert, influence and dominate key areas of Africa.' Even though he claims the CIA had nothing to do with Lumumba's death, he was ordered by Washington to find a way of getting rid of Lumumba.He did a bad job convincing me the CIA had nothing to do with Lumumba's death, in fact it left me with the vague feeling that the CIA had a lot to do with all the upheavals happening all over the continent.------------------Another OFN from OBJ.
Back in the 70s when Obj launched OFN (Operation Feed the Nation), Nigerians nicknamed the scheme Obasanjo Fools the Nation. Fastforward some twenty something years later and it seems Obj has done another OFN, this time Obasanjo has Fleeced the Nation.From the news:
The Amazing Wealth Of OBJHe had a bank balance of N20,000 in 1999. But after eight years as Nigeria’s President, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo will literally spend his retirement sitting on a mint, courtesy of some hugely controversial investments and land acquisitions.----------------------------------The scots employ the Mail to do the dirty on naija ; - )From the sunday Mail:
The hidden truth behind Nigeria's £250M fight for Commonwealth GamesNigeria's sports minister Bala Kaole reckons their bid is "in the bag".He even believes he has convinced the judging team Abuja is safer and more prosperous than Glasgow.But airbrushed out of their glossy and colourful campaign is the plight of thousands of ordinary Africans made homeless and left poverty-stricken by the Nigerian government's obession with making Abuja the jewel in the crown.----------------------When oil fuels a nightmare instead of a dream
From Time Magazine:
Africa's Oil DreamsAngola, Nigeria and Gabon. The oil industries in each are at markedly different stages. Angola's is in its first explosive flush of production, with gdp expected to grow 27% this year. Nigeria is in its prime, ranking as the world's 12th largest producer in 2006. Gabon's wells are slowly drying up. Together, these three nations trace an evolving arc of oil's effect on Africa and the world, of both its promise and its perils.---------------------------Finally.. An Oldie but a goodie ; - )This is a country where anything can happen'How to be a Nigerian' was written by Peter Enahoro in 1966, since then a lot has changed but much of what he said in the book still applies today.Reuben Abati's 2003 article, 'How To Be A Nigerian', can be described as an updated version of the book.
"To remain sane as a Nigerian, you must be religious. And you must advertise your piety. Sleep in the church. Proclaim your religiousity from the rooftops. Mention God's name in every conversation. In a land where there is so much madness, religion offers you the only opportunity to cling on to a measure of holiness. It is the only way to remind yourself that you are human after all, and that there is something that you still believe in."
[snip]
"If you are unable to cope, perhaps you may consider the option of exile. There are many Nigerians abroad eking out a living as economic refugees. Unable to cope with the many disasters of life in the country of their birth, they have fled to other countries where there is less stress and shock. To be a Nigerian, you must ordinarily learn to live with shock. This is a country where anything can happen." The full ArticleLabels: Recommended articles, Recommended reading
