ijebuman's diary

Been So Long....

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Sat, 09 May 2009 12:06:00 +0000

Ok so i took a "short" break from blogging at the end of last year and it turned out to be an extended break : - ). I'm not promising that i'm back to blogging full time but i will try not to stay away for too long. I might have been away from my blog but i still lurk around some of my favourite blogs - chxta, Akin, naijablog, nigerian curiousity et al, kudos to you guys for hanging in there unlike me lol..

I just returned from a trip to Naija (that�s a topic for another blog post), and one of the things i noticed while i was there is how much religion has completely taken hold of our way of life.�

It's not even funny anymore, the way things are going in Naija, another couple of decades and our traditional culture and way of life will have been completely swallowed up by the current madness parading itself as "religion". From the resident electoral commissioner in Ekiti state to our Information minister, no Nigerian is immune to this 'madness'.�

It has got to the level where people have started changing their traditional names to more "religious friendly names" (e.g Fayemi to Oluwayemi).�

Rant over..

Anyway on a lighter note, this dropped into my mail box the other day, enjoy.. (thanks to whoever compiled it)

Top ten Nigerian "Pentecostal" sayings

10. "We must pray and fast" (In Yoruba, "e kun fun aduaa").

Commonly used in times of tribulation such as Police/EFCC cases, looking for a husband or applying for a UK or US visa.

9. "This is my year of breakthrough" A new year's eve special.�

The ready-made lazy man's annual prayer whether or not he has put in an honest day's work the year before, and a popular headline at most money spinning end-of-year religious crusades.

8. "I thank God for your life"

Usually an acknowledgement or appreciation of a benefactor but you scratch your head to find a real meaning to this one. People just drop it anyhow, eg. "I saw Pastor Kososhi drive past me in his Hummer yesterday on Allen Avenue", Reply: "Oh, I thank God for his life".

7. "...but he's a Man of God"As in the old 'over-the-hill'�

Brother Jero Pastor who doesn't know how to toast women but secretly lusts after your wife/girlfriend in church. These are the "close your eyes, let us pray" guys who's always around to help or advice, waiting and hoping to take advantage of any misfortune to console his way into your woman's life.

6. "J.E.S.U.S."

Now very popular at Christian weddings across Nigeria as the newly-wed couple cut their cake. This has taken over from the evergreen "3,2,1...". Speaking of weddings, some wack MCs now blackmail the wedding guests by saying "If you want to live to see the new year, let me see your hands up", thus punishing them for not laughing at his dry jokes. Fear has become our God.

5. "I bind you..." (AKA "Holy Ghost Fire! Fire!! Fire!!!")

As in, put a curse on you, or threaten you with the wrath of God if you're deemed to be disturbing them for whatever reason. For example, against jobless guys who are proposing marriage, or the Landlord who has come to collect the rent after 8 months!

4. "The Devil is a liar!"

Often used right after surviving a ghastly auto accident, general misfortune, tripping over your children's toys or mistakenly dripping pepper soup on your favourite pink T.M. Lewin shirt!

3. "In the name of Jesus..."

Also abbreviated on Facebook as "IJN" or for maximum effect "in the MIGHTY name of Jesus!". Favourite end-of-sentence soundbite for most Prosperity Pastors on television.

2. "To God be the glory"

The last line of 99.9% of Nollywood films, and fast rising closing remarks at government / corporate seminars (usually just before they share the 'gbemu' in Ghana-must-go bags)

1. "It is well"

Self explanatory enough. Classic soundbite even if it is VERY OBVIOUS that it is not well.

And don't forget "It is not my portion" and "No weapon fashioned against me shall prosper"

I'll Be Back

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 22:25:00 +0000

I know I've been away for a while, there's just been loads of stuff happening offline, but in the words of Arnie, i'll be back (very soon).

N.B and a special thanks to the Anonymous idiot posting spam on the comment pages of my blog while i was away, i felt so special knowing i had so many comments on my blog...

You gotta laugh..

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 23:53:00 +0000

The political party everyone loves to hate, the British Nationalist Party (BNP) had its entire membership list published online.

According to the Times

"There was panic at the centre of the British National Party tonight after it emerged that its entire membership list had been published on the internet.The names, addresses and telephone numbers of more than 10,000 current and former members were published on a specially created web page.

Along with the names and personal details, the professions of many of the members have been made public including teachers, scientists, a government employee and at least one serving police officer.

One police woman on the list, whose entry included a note asking for discretion, faces potential dismissal since officers are proscribed from joining the right-wing political party."

For those who don't know about the BNP, it's a bit like the Ku Klux Klan without the lynching : - )

I for one am pleased that the membership of the BNP is now in the public domain, I guess a lot of people will be changing phone numbers and addresses, who knows this might actually kick start the moribund housing market.

The web page has now been removed but if you're curious like me, then pop over to Wikileaks and have a peek and yes i searched to find out if anyone on my street was a member : - )

Re: Saving Africa's Witch Children

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:13:00 +0000

http://www.justgiving.com/witchchildren

http://www.steppingstonesnigeria.org/contactus

The greatest tragedy facing Nigeria today is our indifference to the abuse of the most vulnerable members of our society - children. We can all play our part by supporting Stepping Stones Nigeria 'to carry out enlightenment and advocacy projects throughout the region, so that a long-term solution to the child 'witch' crisis may be found'.

The Evil that Preachers do

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 22:24:00 +0000

The 'Extremely Evil' Helen Ukpabio

In some of the poorest parts of Nigeria, where evangelical religious fervour is combined with a belief in sorcery and black magic, many thousands of children are being blamed for catastrophes, death and famine - and branded witches by powerful pastors. These children are then abandoned, tortured, starved and murdered - all in the name of Jesus Christ.

Influential preachers from the more extreme churches brand the children witches or wizards and exploit their desperate parents by charging them exorbitant amounts of money in return for exorcising the spirits.
The film features extraordinary access to some of the preachers who openly discuss their work. One preacher who calls himself 'The Bishop,' says he has made a fortune by carrying out 'deliverances' on children. He admits having killed 110 people in the past. Dispatches films him as he administers a mixture of pure alcohol, a substance known as 'African mercury' and his own blood to one child accused of witchcraft.

Dispatches
http://www.channel4.com/news/articles/dispatches/saving+africas+witch+children/2780062

Back to Reality..

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 11:24:00 +0000

Ok that's it, my Obama moment has been bought back to reality, i thought it was a joke but then i saw the article, "Obama's election and the needed change, by Obasanjo"

Aaagh!!! do our leaders have no shame, it's bad enough that the president of Kenya declared a holiday for Obama for winning a free and fair election in America, an election which he could never have won as a Luo man in Kenya. It's not yet a year since Kibaki plunged his country into ethnic violence for refusing to step down after "losing" an election to another Luo man. The selective amnesia (or is it denial) of African leaders boggles the mind. No wonder the whole continent is trapped in a vortex of endless political violence and ethnic strife.

But i digress, According to Obasanjo,
"Obama represents an ability to move from realms of dream to reality. He represents Hope for the global minorities who are being or feel oppressed by the majority."
{SNIP}
"Part of his hopes and dreams is to facilitate the emergence of a post racial America. I believe embedded in that will be a pointer for divided countries to create the needed golden bridges across traditional divides and gaps of tribal bigotry, ethnic chauvinism, religious allegiance and other primordial considerations. It is a signal to us that we can gradually begin the movement towards an Africa that accepts everyone for what and who he or she is."
{SNIP}
"People should be seen, accepted, judged and placed for what they are and what God has endowed them with. Those who preach the sermon of superiority of Intelligence Quotient or simple intellect based on colour, race, tribe or language must start to review and indeed change their sermon."

So Obasanjo likes beta thing (as my peeps will say in pidgin), yet at no time in the many years he ruled Nigeria did he bring about the political renewal that our nation desperately needs. During his 8 year rule, he encouraged and promoted the likes of Adedibu and Chris Uba, people who were prepared to use violence and intimidation to "win" elections.

Obama's victory in America could be compared to the June 12 election when Nigerians of different ethnic and religious background voted for MKO Abiola in a free and fair election that has yet to be repeated in Naija. Obj was among the powerful minority that supported the annulment of that election, in the heat of the June 12 crises, he had gone to South Africa to announce that "Abiola is not the messiah we seek". I'm sure many Americans (especially of the redneck variety) will say Obama is not the messiah they seek, but he won the election and thats all that matters.

It's a shame that the irony of it all is lost on Obasanjo or whoever he employed to write this piece of garbage. I'm not a religious person, but i surely hope there's a God out there, that will strike the likes of Obasanjo, Kibaki, Mugabe and the other despotic African leaders that have denied their people political freedom and yet want to associate with the historical victory of Obama.

Young, Gifted and Black

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 13:45:00 +0000

"Young, Gifted and Black, We must begin to tell our young, There's a world waiting for you, This is a quest that's just begun..."

Yesterday's historical event bought back memories of one of my father's favourite songs "Young, Gifted and Black". It was recorded by Bob & Marcia and reached number 5 in the UK charts in 1970. (The song was originally recorded by Nina Simone)

It's a song that has inspired me over the years and with Obama overcoming all the odds to become the US President, I feel this song captures the essence of this moment.

To be young, gifted and black,
Oh what a lovely precious dream
To be young, gifted and black,
Open your heart to what I mean

In the whole world you know
There are billion boys and girls
Who are young, gifted and black,
And that's a fact!

Young, gifted and black
We must begin to tell our young
There's a world waiting for you
This is a quest thats just begun

When you feel really low
Yeah, there's a great truth you should know
When youre young, gifted and black
Your souls intact

Young, gifted and black
How I long to know the truth
There are times when I look back
And I am haunted by my youth

Oh but my joy of today
Is that we can all be proud to say
To be young, gifted and black
Is where its at

(1969) Nina Simone, Weldon Irvine jr

There's a Black Family at 1600 Pennsylvania..

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 02:16:00 +0000

The Obama's New Residence

"No army can stop an idea whose time has come.� - Victor Hugo

One down, one more to go...

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 12:00:00 +0000

People in the UK will understand what i mean, Lewis Hamilton became the youngest (and only black) Formula 1 champion in history yesterday, the one more to go is of course the US elections tomorrow, where if all goes according to the opinion polls, Barack Obama will become the next US president.

Now, i was very late to the Obama party, i never thought he stood a chance.. but hey, i'm now a believer and i apologise to my fellow blogger Omoluwabi OkeBadan for my cynical responses to his many posts on Obama (you were right all along, my Brother)

People sit back and enjoy the show, history is about to be made.

It's time...

Freedom Now!!

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 09:38:00 +0000

Things are that bad...

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 12:37:00 +0000

To all my peeps out there, hang in there remember if it doesn't kill you, it just means your creditors can still find you.
My peeps when oyibo man starts panicking and running around like headless chicken, there's some serious alarm about to blow, that is why i'm wondering why my peeps are still organising owambe parties as if nothing dey happen..
I was talking to someone the other day asking how she was coping with the credit crunch, she said "credit crunch is not my potion in Jesus name" ok o i replied, 'when you return from lala land please give me a call..'

Meanwhile i've told Mrs Ijebuman to do a quick inventory of all our movable assets as we may need to make a quick dash to Naija if things get really bad, I'll miss Ijebuman's mansions but lets face it, I was only the caretaker, it was always owned by the mortgage company. When the going gets tough, the tough pack up and move back to where they came from, the Polish are already doing it lol.

On a serious note, we all need to be smart to ride this one out, there's so much uncertainty out there, no job is secure..

17532 days later

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 10:14:00 +0000

"There is no threat to unity at all. We solved that problem a long time ago" - Tafawa Balewa (Oct 1960)

The Free Giant
published in Time magazine on Monday, Oct. 10, 1960

In sweltering Lagos one night last week, throngs surged toward the gaily decorated race track, where bands played and dancers swayed. Precisely at midnight, a mighty roar went up as a green-white-green flag was hauled aloft to replace the Union Jack. With that, Nigeria, Africa's most populous nation (36 million), became independent and took its place in the councils of the world. Solemnly, 40,-ooo voices rose in the new official anthem:

"Nigeria we hail thee,/ Our own dear native land,/ Though tribe and tongue may differ,/ In brotherhood we stand."

Matter of Persuasion. Brotherhood is perhaps too strong a term yet in a land made up of 250 bickering tribal groups speaking as many languages, with little in common but mutual suspicion and jealousy. But it is an achievement in itself that a unified Nigeria is getting its independence and seems ready for it. Only a decade ago, a rising young politician from the north named Abubakar Tafawa Balewa was threatening a Moslem holy war against the southerners rather than join them in one independent nation. "There is no basis for Nigerian unity," he sniffed. "It is only a British intention for our country."

Today. Alhaji Sir Abubakar Tafawa Balewa, O.B.E., K.B.E., is federal Nigeria's first Prime Minister, who now says, "There is no threat to unity at all. We solved that problem a long time ago." His words are echoed by every important politician, giving the lie to the theory that backward African nations inevitably must suffer the chaos of a Congo when the blacks take over.

The British began training the Nigerians in local self-government almost as soon as they pulled the scattered, warring millions into one big (339,169 sq. mi.) colony called Nigeria in 1914. As far back as 18 years ago, Nigerians were admitted to the Governor's Cabinet. As a result of their wise stewardship, Britain has won a fervent friend and a loyal new partner for the Commonwealth. Last week thousands cheered vivacious Princess Alexandra, cousin of Queen Elizabeth, as she flew in from London to represent the royal family at the celebrations. Even that old nationalist warhorse, Dr. Nnamde ("Zik") Azikiwe, 55, who cursed Britain for years in his personal campaign for Nigerian independence, proclaimed that "we give credit to Britain for an imperishable legacy of the rule of law and legacy of respect for human dignity and freedom." U.S.-educated Zik, of all people, is to be the Queen's personal representative as the nation's first Nigerian Governor General.

Palm Oil & Slaves. A steaming chunk of West Africa, Nigeria's topography ranges from mangrove thickets, lagoons and rain forests in the south to lofty plateaus and arid plains in the north. Leader of the north's Moslems is proud, turbaned Sir Ahmadu Bello, whose religious title is the Sardauna of Sokoto. Eight years ago the Sardauna sent able Abubakar to Lagos as his agent because the Sardauna himself felt he had more important things to do at home among the Hausa and Fulani tribesmen. Only its huge (18 million) population and sprawling area (three-fourths of the country) provide the relatively backward north with its titular balance of power in Nigeria's loose federation over the two big tribes of the more advanced south, the solid Yoruba town dwellers of the West ern Region and the flamboyant, aggressive Ibo in the rural east, who encountered the civilizing influence of Europe at an early date.

First the Portuguese, then the Dutch, Danes and British moved in to start the scramble for pepper, ivory, palm oil and slaves. It was the British who remained, represented by ship captains, merchants and the "palm-oil ruffians," who trudged upcountry through swarms of mosquitoes, dropping off bags of cowrie shells and cases of cheap gin as payment to local chiefs who agreed to fill metal drums with palm oil and send them floating downstream to the coast. More whites died than lived, and for generations the place was considered uninhabitable for Europeans. The Governor's residence in Lagos, wrote a visitor in 1863, was little more than a "corrugated iron coffin," for at that time the consuls were dying at the rate of one a year.

TV in the Slums. "Our greatest ally was the mosquito, for it kept the white man away," cracks Chief Obafemi Awolowo, Yoruba leader and spokesman for the Western Region in the opposition's front bench in the federal Parliament. Today, only some 14,000 whites live in the entire country, and in such cities as the west's Ibadan (pop. 500,000), with its bright new university just outside the town's sea of tin-roofed shacks, or the north's ancient, fabled Keno (pop. 130,000), a non-Nigerian is seldom seen, although the health perils and discomforts have largely disappeared. In Lagos (pop. 350,000), the federation's coastal capital, even the poor wear bright nylon shirts and drink cold beer at dingy slum dives that boast gleaming refrigerators and blaring radios, while a few miles away, ragged Yoruba villagers live in huts and chop the soil with primitive wooden hoes.

Nigeria is not only the most populous but is on the way to becoming the richest of the new African states. Tarred roads connect all the major towns. Ibadan has the first TV station in Africa; Enugu (pop. 63,000), bustling capital of the Eastern Region, Zik's center of power, will soon inaugurate a TV station of its own, and a new university nearby is ready for students. Revenue from palm oil and kernels, cocoa and peanuts already has boosted exports to $460 million a year; to reduce the overwhelming dependence on agriculture, Sir Abubakar's men hope to develop iron ore, lead and zinc deposits, even talk of building a steel mill to supply West Africa's needs. Oil already pours out of Shell's wells along the Niger River delta, and the flow of Nigerian crude may reach 500,000 bbl. a day by 1970.

Checks & Balances. Unlike the Congo, where no trained specialists of any kind exist, Nigeria starts with 532 practicing doctors, 644 lawyers, 60 graduate engineers, accountants and surveyors, and thousands of Nigerian civil servants who have been on the job for years. Many Britons will remain to help, either on permanent salary status or special contracts. Snags are bound to persist; corruption, for example, is widespread and even semirespectable among Nigerians who for years have been accustomed to giving a "dash" (bribe) in exchange for a favor from tribal chiefs or government officials.

It will be years before tribalism is wiped out. In the midst of the independence gaiety last week, Lagos got grim word that rioting by spear-carrying Tiv tribesmen of the north had led to more than a dozen deaths and scores of injuries. Even in the capital, the regional spirit is far from dead, and much of Zik's loyalty to his eastern Ibos inevitably will remain, just as will Awolowo's to the west, and Abubakar's to the north. But this also has the advantage of discouraging the development of monolithic one-man authoritarianism on the model of Nkrumah's Ghana and Toure's Guinea.

Essentially conservative, Sir Abubakar has little use for men like Ghana's flamboyant Kwame Nkrumah; he has even less for Nkrumah's grandiose hopes of merging many nations into a broad Pan-African association. "You can't expect us to surrender sovereignty we have not yet had time to get used to!" Sir Abubakar laughs, proudly aware that populous Nigeria at the moment of independence automatically became a far greater influence in African affairs than Nkrumah's little Ghana (pop. 5,000,000) can ever hope to be.

Abubakar has developed both prestige and confidence in office, and although he still pays respect to his old boss, the Sardauna, he acts with complete independence on policy matters. Pledged to join no power bloc, Sir Abubakar is clearly antiCommunist, is known to support Dag Hammarskjold's policy in the Congo. Generally, his sympathies lie with Britain and with the U.S., which he visited in 1955 to study the water flow of the Ohio and Mississippi rivers in connection with a planned dam of his own on the Niger. He will make his second U.S. trip this week, leading independent Nigeria's first delegation to the U.N. General Assembly meeting in Manhattan.

On a crumbling continent in desperate need of reason and stability, free Nigeria, whose population includes one of every six humans in Africa, will provide a much-needed counterbalance to chaos.

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,871686,00.html

How do rumours get started..

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 12:07:00 +0000

....Now started by Spam email

Poor Yardy, there just seems to be so many rumours about the guy, the latest one sent from a yahoo email address to media organisations in Nigeria, claims he will resign after a cabinet reshuffle.

This Day Reports:
"Early yesterday, editors thought they had got the story of the year when a "newsflash" was sent to their e-mail addresses from "Newsagency Nigeria", through newsagencynig@yahoo.com, announcing that "President Umaru Musa Yar'Adua may resign after carbinate[sic] reshuffle, on health grounds".

The local and international broadcast media quickly picked up the story and broadcast it to the whole world. In the euphoria, however, little did it cross the mind why the President would resign after "cabinet reshuffle". Would his new appointments be binding on his successor?
[SNIP]
But Channels TV, which initially broadcast the news, was last night shut down by the State Security Service (SSS) over the hoax.

This is the third significant rumour about Yar'Adua since last year - the first being that he had died in Germany during the presidential campaign. Last month, he was rumoured to have died having gone into "coma" after undergoing a "renal transplant".
http://allafrica.com/stories/200809170012.html

Now i don't know about you, but considering the amount of dodgy email i get (penile enlargements (as if), free Ipods/Iphones, Naked pics of Halle Berry (i wish) etc) I treat any information i receive via email with suspicion especially "official" emails originating from any free email service. "Genuine" spammers don't even use Yahoo, Gmail or Hotmail to send spam anymore, they've left them to your average 419er.

But i digress, i would have thought a reputable organisation like Channels TV would at least confirm the story before going to town with it. How could they fall for such a hoax?, do Nigerian leaders ever resign from office?? if anything, the bad spelling should have made them suspicious. God help us all if someone had sent an email that a coup or something more sinister had happened; imagine the panic and confusion they could have caused.

But can we really blame Channels TV, the same news report reveals that the News Agency Of Nigeria uses Gmail addresses to send out news items.

This Day reports:
"Apparently to forestall the use of web-based e-mails addresses to spread rumours in its name, NAN yesterday sent e-mails to media houses to announce the authentic e-mail addresses of the agency.

The mail, signed by Alli Hakeem, Deputy Editor-in-Chief, Abuja Metropolitan Desk, read: "Dear esteemed subscribers, With effect from today, September 16, 2008, the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) has rested the following e-mail addresses: nanabujahq@gmail.com and nancommunication@gmail.com to send its news items.

NAN will no longer use any yahoo, or gmail, or hotmail.com address from this moment on."
http://allafrica.com/stories/200809170012.html

Good to see that the government's usual "Close the stable door after the horse has bolted" approach to dealing with issues has kicked in...
And if you thought that was the only government organisation that uses free web based email, you should check out the contact page of the Federal Ministry of Finance, one of their contact email addresses is "servicom@yahoo.com".

Meanwhile, isn't it funny the way this government has reverted to the usual tactics of previous administrations (by shutting down Channels TV) i thought Yardy believed in the rule of law?

Wetin concern...

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 16:45:00 +0000

agbero with overload (as my peeps are fond of saying), this whole Obama mania is doing my head in, you can't vist any naija news site without coming across a story or feature on Obama.
I have nothing against Obama, he talks the talk, (not sure if he can back it up with action) I hope he wins the election, but i still don't understand what it has to do with naija, if he becomes the next American President will it make any difference to our country?

I understand if the Kenyans are excited about it, he has family in Kenya but wetin be our own??
even good old reliable SaharaReporters has joined the bandwagon and turned it's front page over to the Democratic party convention in Denver. And don't even get me started on the whole fund raising for Obama ("Africans for Obama") organised by that fat chick with a Ph.D , the shameful spectacle was on Bisi Olatilo's vomit inducing show last weekend. It was too much for my ulcer and I just couldn't bring myself to blog about it. I think i'll need some therapy to forget the shameful scenes of people doing the Obama fist bump aaaaghhhh!!

Meanwhile...
While naija's poke their noses in another country's business, our own el Presidente has been holding us to ransom, if the man dies how will things play out?, will Badluck (there's nothing good about that man's luck) take over or will he be pushed aside using either the Army or the Supreme court???.

Georgia (not on my mind) only on my TV

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:16:00 +0000

Last month most people did not know there was an ex Soviet republic called Georgia, (a tiny country made up of about 4 million people) now no thanks to the media and its extensive coverage of the ongoing war, not only do we know about Georgia, we also know about its separatist region of South Ossetia and Abkhazia.

Meanwhile, Russia may have kicked Georgia's ass on the war field, but it was the Georgians who won when they faced each other at the Olympics beach volleyball tournament lol

So what have we learnt so far?
Russia is a big bully (but we already knew that, go ask the Estonians, Hungarians, Chechens, Czechs etc)
The West as usual is full of hypocritical bullshit (but we already knew that, go ask the Iraqis, Serbs, Palestinians, Lebanese etc)
And don't mess with Georgia when it comes to.... Beach Volleyball!!!

-----------------------

Virgin Nigeria gets the Russian Treatment
Yardy and his fellow bandits in power failed the first major test of their so called "Adherence to the rule of law" and switched to what I'll like to call our "default way" of doing things. Check out the way Virgin Nigeria was forced out of the international wing of MMA despite Virgin Nigeria's case at the Appeal Court.
Virgin had gone to court to challenge the government's directive that it moves to MMA2 (the domestic terminal), rather than wait for the verdict, the government decided to use "Russian diplomatic tactics" to ensure Virgin complied.
Personally i never bought into Yardy's rule of law crap, but I'm sure many of those who thought this government was different (as if) will now realise that nothing much has changed...

Virgin set to sever ties with Nigerian venture
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/bf4bdaa4-6e50-11dd-b5df-0000779fd18c.html

--------------------------------
Who would have thought?

Team GB, 12 Olympic Gold medals and counting..
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/olympics/medals_table/default.stm

No Comment...

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:22:00 +0000

Sometimes I read some news stories and I'm literally lost for words, here are a few of such news stories;

The birthday that never was
Yar'Adua's Birthday Confusion - State Govts Blew Over N35m

"Over N35 million taxpayers' money was spent by state governors, ministers and lawmakers sponsoring advert messages congratulating President Umaru Musa Yar'adua on his 57th birthday in national dailies, only to discover that the president was not born on July 9, as the over 100 coloured paged messages implied."

The Lord Works in Mysterious ways : - )
'Allah meat' astounds Nigerians
"Diners have been flocking to a restaurant in northern Nigeria to see pieces of meat which the owner says are inscribed with the name of Allah."
and in other parts of the world
Message from Allah 'in tomato'
Tropical fish 'has Allah marking'
India marvels at 'miracle chapati'

methinks this one is definitely worthy of an end of year award (for "Foot in mouth")
Obasanjo - Leave Electricity Problem to God
Former President Olusegun Obasanjo has said Nigerians should take their electricity problem to God, adding that they should take to God anything they do not have which they wished to have or cannot get.

419 Version 2.0
419ers crank up the menaces
"Your friend has paid us to kill you..."

-------------------------------------------------
So what have you been doing in America?

Now you can find out what some of our citizens have been up to stateside.
http://www.criminalsearches.com/default.aspx

A search using a variation of popular Nigerian names produces very interesting results, i don't think Iyabo Obasanjo will be doing much driving next time she visits the US : - )

A Tale of Two Stories

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 22:01:00 +0000

The Event: 17 people die in "mysterious" circumstances in a local community in Abia state.

The Nollywood Version as reported by the Nigerian Tribune and This day

The Nigerian Tribune reports that "about 40 members of the Deeper Life Church in a community in Abia State died mysteriously at the weekend shortly after a family deliverance prayer session."

The paper reports that "A source said that immediately after the prayer session, a mighty wind took over the newly-built house which lifted the people there gathered and tossed them around the building.
The source further said that the pandemonium which resulted made them to collapse against another."

The paper adds "That the remains of the dead were infested with maggots while the whole area was taken over by a foul odour.
More than 20 persons were said to have lost their lives there and then, while about three people were said to be critically ill and are now at a private hospital where they are receiving treatment."

The Real Version as reported by Reuters

"At least 17 people died at a prayer meeting in rural Nigeria after apparently breathing noxious fumes from their power generator while asleep, police and witnesses said on Wednesday.
[snip]
The victims fell asleep on Saturday in a locked room with the generator still running, police said. Their bodies were discovered and the incident reported on Tuesday.

"We are still investigating the cause of the deaths. But a power generating set was found in the hall where they slept, so we are not ruling out suffocation through carbon monoxide inhalation," police spokesman Ali Okechukwu said.

Though Nigerians are very religious, many are highly superstitious and hold strong beliefs in voodoo, ghosts and witchcraft. One survivor, Linus Abba, said the victims were attacked by the evil spirits they were trying to exorcise.

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NTA now showing on Sky

I'm sure it was planned to coincide with Yardy's visit to the UK, NTA international is now showing on Sky Digital (channel 213), for those who enjoy government propaganda and the other stuff NTA is well known for...

Yardy meets Gordy

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 20:38:00 +0000

Outside Downing Street (july 16)

Randoms

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 15:32:00 +0000

The supposedly "ironic" edition of The New Yorker

First it was Jesse Jackson threatening to cut off Obama's nuts courtesy of a 'mic malfunction' at Fox news (What was Jesse doing on Fox news in the first place??, it�s kind of like George W Bush going on BET), and now The New Yorker (a supposedly liberal rag) is depicting Obama and his wife as "terrorists" in the White House.
According to the magazine's editor, David Remnick, the image "holds up a mirror" to the absurd and often malicious rumours that have stuck to his [Obama's] campaign. And he believes his readers are intelligent enough to get the joke.

Really, i don't see any other magazine portraying McCain as an Old geriatric fool, because i suppose it would be seen as extremely offensive to OAPs, but i guess we black people just can't take a joke abi??
--------------------
Meanwhile...

Our dear old presido, Yawn�Adua hits our shores this week.
Now this is an open appeal to the 'slow' one, just in case you meet 'Iya Charlie' abeg do not embarrass us like you did when you met Bush last year.

Oh and one more thing since Gordon Brown will be discussing the high price of oil and offering British assistance in dealing with the Niger delta issue, I suggest you too offer Naija's assistance in dealing with the recent spate of stabbings in the UK's major cities. You could offer to send our 'Kill n Go' (Our psychotic men in black) to teach the bobbies here how to deal with all these small pikins carrying knives around as if they are selling suya.
--------------------
Another sad Oil song...

They haven't extracted the oil yet but the twin islands of S�o Tom� and Pr�ncipe are already in big trouble. (And of course Naijas are already there to give them a helping hand)

'The best thing that could happen to the country is if no oil is found'
Bribery, bullying and bad deals shatter Sao Tome's dreams of petroleum boom
http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2008/jul/14/oil.internationalaidanddevelopment

Arrested Development

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 11:22:00 +0000

Arrested Economic Development
Paper presented by 'Wale Otukoya at the Yoruba Foundation on 7th June 2008.

Good Morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. It's an absolute pleasure to see you all. I am so excited about the opportunity to talk about the development of our country, but I have only a very limited time, so, I will get straight in.

At the dawn of Independence, our country was like a young virgin bride, full of promises and possibilities, our forefathers were overjoyed by the opportunities, but on the wedding night, it was the best man that consummated the marriage. That false start had plagued our country till today.
There are longer any doubts that the 1959 election was rigged, many people at the time suspected this to be the case, but now the Radio 4 programme that you listened to earlier confirmed that suspicion.

So that begs the question, why will anyone want to rig an election, especially our colonial masters on their way out?. When the slave trade came to an end, these guys still needed labour, they devised something even better, colonisation, rather than transport people to a foreign land, why not make them do the work in their own backyard and then send the goods back to the home country.
Ingenious!. There are policy makers constantly at work, making sure that they deal with issues before they become problems.

There were many reasons why the Nigerian Independence election was rigged, but this has brought us a lot of headache. If our colonial masters can so blatantly ignore the wishes of the people of Nigeria, the subsequent governments do not have a reason to have a plan, or setup an agenda, no accountability, nor do they need to perform in order for them to get back into power.

I understand that the Western region was ahead of its time, free education, free healthcare etc. The UK government wanted people they could continue to influence, educating the majority of the country will only lead to more problems.
The 1979 Nigerian election was fought on the same basis, but Awolowo was criticised for that. The UK Labour government since 1997 made Education and health two important policies of their government. Can you see the parallel, nearly 20 years later?. If we followed those policies in 1979, we would be unbeatable right now.

Now, lets give credit where credit is due, two centuries ago the Brits had about 30 million people, yet they managed to colonise almost a quarter of the world. This small island became a world leader because of the dedication of a few people.

Why did we expect them to help us to develop when development will mean less dependence on UK products?.
Imagine, through some fluke, somebody asked the Chelsea Manager to select the Man United team to face Chelsea at the finals of the European cup. I bet Ronaldo, Ferdinald, Van der Saer, or any of the key players will not be in that team, because even though on a good day Chelsea might be able to match Man U, the manager will play safe and go for the second team.
That was the same thing that happened at our "independence", why pick a team likely to give you a good run for your money, when you can pick one that you can surely win against. So, the Brits picked the second team and put the first team in reserve, another ingenious idea.
We have never had our best players in the right places.

On several occasions, I have heard that we were better under colonial rule than the 47 years of independence!!!. What we have failed to do since independence is to turn around the tide.
Several believed that the sleeping giant of Africa was about to take off in the 1970's and 80's, but in reality, it was a case of the jumbo jet crash landing whilst till taxing on the runway. We never made it as far as we thought we would. It just never happened. Now we are dreaming of 2020, but without a 20/20 vision.

Gradually, many of the colonised countries are now developing, do you remember the Vespa based cars that looked like tricycles with engines?. Those cars were the butts of many jokes when we were growing up, but India has now developed new cars on the back of that and recently launched the cheapest car for about $2000.
The Indian company Tata, manufactures cars, it's a massive conglomerate, they now own British Steel. Does anyone know what happened to Ajaokuta steel after we have spent $6b?.

Malaysia was a British colony, but its now classified as a Newly Industrialised country (NIC), they hope to become a fully developed country by 2020.
Does anyone know what happened to Volkswagen Nigeria?. Malaysia now produces Proton cars, apart from the engine. Malaysia also have one of the best medical facilities in the world, many now travel there as medical tourists. That could have been us. Where are all our trained doctors?. They are now dotted across the world. In 2007, Malaysia exported $4.4b worth of palm oil that they originally took from Nigeria. I wonder what we have done with ours?. Palm oil is now a major product, every part of it is used, even the shell.

Let me share some info from the US department of Statistics. Immigrants from Nigeria to the US are likely to be better educated (graduates and post graduates) than the indigenous population, but are more likely to be employed in a manual work.
Now, we need to move on though, time is ticking, the taxi is waiting and we have lost considerable amount of time, 47 years to be exact. In the life of a human being we are now middle aged, tending towards being regarded as a "condemn".

We have the skills, we have resources, we just lack leadership.
The economics of the world is changing. Having capital alone is not enough, you need skills, you need to be unique, you need to be able to distinguish yourself from the crowd.
Development cannot happen in a vacuum, it must be in the context of our social economic base. If our governments don't want to drive this, then, we as individuals must be able to provide leadership. We need to start somewhere, at the moment, we are running away from our own destiny.
We had oil, we blew the money because we were selfish enough not to care whether our neighbours had a meal or not, as long as we drove better cars and had more houses. Most of the jobs created in the UK and the US are created by the private sector.

Traditional economic theorists believe that in order to develop, we need capital, land, machinery, labour etc.
I have news for you, we don't need those things any more. What we need is the right infrastructure and the skills of the people to drive those things forward. We have heard of jobs being off shored to low wage countries. If we have the infrastructure, our people will have jobs.

Lets look at some of the best new companies in the world, Microsoft, Apple, Google, e-bay, facebook, moneysupermarket.com. These companies are now worth billions of dollars. 20 years ago, some of these companies were not even in existence, but today, they are more profitable than GM, Ford and most of the more traditional companies. Dell computers started in a garage, e-bay, because a man's wife could not find what she was looking for etc.

What that tells us is that we do not need to have huge capital, what we need is our brains, highly developed, highly skilled and highly tuned, not to scam people, but to build a future for ourselves and our country. We can definitely help to build our nation. We are helping to build other nations at the moment.

What can we do?.
We can make things better. We can elect not to agree that it is alright to have substandard products, we can agree that there are rules about governance, we can make sure that we support the right people and train our kids not to believe that all they have to do to make it in life is to blindly study. We need entrepreneurs, we need people with ambitions and we need long term goals. No more get rich quick schemes. We must pursue excellence above everything else.

Things can be turned around very quickly and Nigerians are some of the most industrious people, they follow their leaders and if you give them good leadership, the whole country will start buzzing in no time. A formidable force of 130 million people, more than twice the size of the UK population.
The opportunities are endless, we can come together to form partnerships, we can develop ideas, we have the power, we can help to shape the nature of the policies at home, we can channel our energies in providing support for our people.

Let us celebrate people who have the audacity to dream, let us support those trying to make a difference. This is not the time for the green eyed monster. This is the time to come together to become an incredible force. Our thinking must change from being consumers to being producers, from just opening little shops to thinking out of the box.
Consider the impact of IT, consider what will make our lives easier or more convenient, whilst making the best of the resources we have at your disposal. Don't follow the crowd, but follow your dream. Dream big, plan for it and work hard to get it.

Don't be afraid of failure, but just imagine the freedom. Its like learning to drive a car, the freedom to go anywhere is unbelievable.
Lets celebrate the very best, but celebrating all the time without achieving anything is not a way forward. Have less of those "Owambe" parties, save money and invest. Can you imagine if Bill Gate originated from Nigeria, who can guess how many wives and children he would have by now?. Why?

I have been troubled by the fact that the Polish people are now going home. I can't believe this, these guys have been here for 5 minutes and they are already checking out. What is going on?. Also, an average of 200,000 people leave the UK every year for other countries, hang on a minute, the Pols and the Brits are leaving the country, things must be really tough, who is going to manage the economy. Hey guys, I am checking out as well.

May I end by thanking all the speakers and the audience today, especially Dele Ogun, and the rest of the team that have organised these events year after year. I am thrilled about events like this, because it shows that some of you still love our country.

Finally, The "Godfather" Passes On...

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 21:23:00 +0000

Full report
http://www.saharareporters.com/www/news/detail/?id=625

"As expected, Adedibu's death has elicited widespread jubilation in Ibadan, a city where the late gadfly sharpened and practiced his thuggish brand of politics. One observer told Saharareporters that people were seen in different parts of the city rejoicing over Mr. Adedibu�s demise."

These are interesting times....

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 11:50:00 +0000

A new Uncle Sam?

Well, well, well, so Barack Obama is now the Democratic party nominee, assuming Hilary doesn't kill him before November : - ), he might actually become the next President of the United States.
Real life is gradually turning into an episode of the TV series 24, what will the Season finale be?
It seems America is finally growing up and ready to bury its racist past....

So what have we learned so far;

Don't fuck with the Clintons, they'll do absolutely anything to win.

Americans love a fairy tale (well one assumes they realise this is "real life" and not some Hollywood blockbuster with a 'Denzel' lookalike running for the Presidency)

Black is the new White

Fox News reveals Republican Party's back up plan just in case Obama wins

And finally, the ultimate proof that you don't have to Anglicise your name to make it, Fellow Naijas please take note, you don't have to give your offspring "Christian" (i.e "English") names to fit in.
If Barack Hussein Obama was Naija, the Barack would have become "Barry" by now, and his middle name "Hussein" would have disappeared along with any trace of his African roots.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Top 10 Most Dangerous Places on Earth

Naija may not be the best place in the world but at least we're not on the top 10 list of the most dangerous places on earth

The Top 10
10. Russia
9. Brazil
8. South Africa
7. Burundi
6. Antarctica
5. Afghanistan
4. Somalia
3. Sudan
2. Colombia
1. Iraq
Bonus entry: USA

http://listverse.com/travel/top-10-most-dangerous-places-on-earth/

365 days later..

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Thu, 29 May 2008 22:04:00 +0000

Happy DemoCraZy Day

Yardy Speaks...

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Tue, 20 May 2008 11:55:00 +0000

To the Financial Times

Excerpts from the interview
FT: It�s interesting you say that. A lot of Nigerians I speak to say you have been very slow in your reform programme? What do you say when you hear Nigerians saying that you are moving slowly?

YAR�ADUA: I smile, because I know, I have been a governor for eight years, I have also had some challenges to sort out, some problems. Because I know the quality of what you can achieve depends on how you plan a programme. You cannot make major achievements by just trying to rush things. The quality of your planning, the quality of your programmes, determine the nature of their achievements�What we have to learn to know is that you cannot achieve anything without planning, and planning is a long-term process. That is why I am saying that we need to produce a national plan to the year 2020.

FT: You�re not enjoying being president?

YAR�ADUA: It�s not I�m not enjoying, it�s a great responsibility. But I am aware, and I believe passionately that in this country we must respect law and order. And that having allowed respect law and order to break down is what is responsible for most of our national problems.

No president should come here and do what he likes, the president should come here and conduct himself according to laws, to the constitution, governing the conduct of this office. Unless we have that, we can never progress as a nation, there will always be corruption, there will always be indiscipline, we can never have the discipline to plan, we can never be able to develop as a nation, and we can never create the right environment for investment to take place.

My Son, The Artist

noreply@blogger.com (ijebuman) — Sun, 18 May 2008 13:06:00 +0000

The colour handling and shading give a sense of overall form. There is a consistency, a coherence, a style that carries through. A refined eye guiding the brush. There are no successful accidents here. The results achieved are intentional and sure....

Don't be alarmed, this is just the sort of 'pretentious posturing' that occurs when you're presented with your son's first painting lol ; - )